Wrong Guy

You can never be too careful if you’re a single father. My daughter’s beautiful, charming and 19-years-old. She’s old enough to date and she has good taste most of the time but her current boyfriend, Travis, is trash. He’s always getting into trouble at college.

They’re in the back of his car making out in front of my apartment building, I can see them through my binoculars from the 11th floor. He was supposed to drop her home 15 minutes ago but their goodbye kiss is taking forever.

I decide to go out there to speed things up.

I tap on the car window and they pull away from each other. Travis rolls down the window.

“It isn’t safe out here at night.” I say.

“Sorry dad.” My daughter replies. “I was just coming inside.”

“Sorry sir.” Travis says insincerely.

“Let me tell you a little story.” I begin. “When I was your age I was making out with a girl in my car in this neighbourhood at night. Just like you two. My girlfriend and I were about to rip each other’s clothes off when someone showed up with a gun. We had to give him all our money. You don’t want that to happen to you do you?”

“Did that really happen?” My daughter asks.

“Of course. Now go upstairs, I want to talk to Travis. Man to man.” I reply.

“Good luck.” She smiles at Travis.

My daughter leaves and it’s just me and Travis.

“I didn’t finish the whole story.” I say. “After my girlfriend and I gave our money to that guy, he left. But I followed him. And then at the right moment I hit him on the back of his head. I took back the money and took his gun too. I told him I’d use the gun on him if I ever saw him again.”

I pull a gun out of my jacket. Travis is horrified.

“I’ve never fired it and I hope you don’t give me a reason to use it.” I smile.

“Yes, sir.” Travis’s voice trembles. “I swear I won’t.”

Travis drives away.

That very night he breaks up with my daughter over text.

 

Writer: Rohan Parekh

Community

“Will you marry me?” He gets down on his knees.

“I would but my parents found another guy from our community-”

“How many guys from your community can do this?” He spreads her legs open and dives in headfirst.

Some time later she leaves his bedroom wearing an engagement ring.

 

Writer: Rohan Parekh

Yellow Yellow

When I wake up I’m horrified to find that my skin is completely yellow! I look like a Simpson’s character. In fact everything around me looks yellow. Was it something I ate? My cousin is visiting and we went out to eat last night. He’s sleeping beside me, snoring loudly, and he looks yellow too. Why is everything yellow?!

Just then I hear loud knocks on my door. “Rent!” The landlady demands.

It’s the first of this month and rent is due. But I can’t open the door, not like this.

I shake my cousin and try to wake him. He continues snoring. I slap him, “Wake up! Wake up!”

“Wh-what?” He finally opens his eyes.

I give him an envelope with cash. “Open the door and pay the landlady.”

“Why are you wear-”

“Just pay her!”

He gets out of bed and opens the door. She complains that he smells. She’s always complaining. After he pays her he goes to the bathroom.

I just got a new job and today is my first day. I cannot go to work like this — with yellow vision. I need this job or I won’t be able to pay rent next month.

There is knocking on the door again. “You gave me a torn note!” The landlady yells.

My cousin can’t open the door, he is still in the bathroom.

I open the door just a little and slowly stick my arm out, hiding the rest of my body. “Give me the torn note and I’ll give you a new one.” I say.

“Open the door.” She pushes it open. “Why are you wearing those ugly sunglasses?”

And then it dawns on me… I fell asleep with a new pair of sunglasses yesterday. I had been trying them on.

I give the landlady a new note and shut the door.

Hopefully I won’t do anything dumb at work today.

 

Writer: Rohan Parekh

Six Star Service

My wife and I are checking into a quiet little motel surrounded by nature. We can’t see much because the sun set an hour ago and it’s already quite dark.

“Let me be honest.” The motel manager says. “Our guests have seen ghosts wandering about.”

“Oh my.” My wife says. “Should we leave?”

“But nothing dangerous has happened.” The manager quickly says. “Nobody has gotten hurt.”

“It’ll be fine.” I say. “Just give us the room key.”

I really need this break from the city. I’m sick of the traffic, the pollution, and sitting in a goddamn office for 13 hours a day. I can’t remember the last time I was home on the weekend.

The manager gives us the room key. My wife and I take the elevator to the 5th floor.

After entering the room — which has an incredible view — I collapse in bed, not bothering to even glance at the bright stars. There is also a full moon tonight but my eyes are already shut.

Even though we’re in a beautiful place that looks breathtaking in the day, what I am most looking forward to is sleep. Tonight I want a good night’s sleep and tomorrow a good day’s sleep would be perfectly fine too.

My wife comes to bed after freshening up in the bathroom. She slides her hand down my pyjamas. After a few minutes she gives up because I can’t get it up. She switches off the light and kisses me goodnight.

She doesn’t say anything but I know she’s disappointed. I feel guilty because we haven’t had sex in a really long time. But we’re here for a week so there is plenty of time for sex.

Work has been so stressful this year. I just need some rest before I can think about anything else.

I shut my eyes and feel grateful that the pillow and bed are so comfortable.

But then my wife starts moaning. I have never heard her sound so sexually aroused.

“Oh god!” She says. “I didn’t know you could do that!”

That’s strange… I’m not doing anything. But my wife thinks I’m doing something to her.

That means there is a ghost in bed.

But I don’t want to ruin the moment for my wife. Let her enjoy herself.

I fall asleep while my wife is moans in ecstasy.

 

Writer: Rohan Parekh

Father Like Son

Dad was fired from work. That’s his reward for taking care of three kids all by himself.

Dad’s boss always treated him badly – making him work overtime without extra pay, promoting newer employees over him.

There was that one year when dad worked so hard that he wasn’t home for all three of kids’ birthdays.

There was that day when his daughter was so ill that her brothers had to take her to a hospital, but dad wasn’t there because his boss wouldn’t let him go.

The oldest son vows to get revenge. He feels heartbroken over how his dad has been exploited. His dad’s boss is filthy rich. The filthy swine has an abundance of gold bars in a safe.

He sneaks into the Swine’s house. Only the most expensive interior designer could’ve built such a palace.

Before cracking the safe open, he decides to murder the swine. He goes to the bedroom which is pitch black and puts a pillow over the swine’s face. He starts suffocating the swine but stops when a bullet enters his head.

Dad had also broken into the house with thoughts of revenge and because it was dark, he accidentally shot his son.

 

Writer: Rohan

50 Word Story: Temptation

His neighbor sent him leftover cake from last night’s party.

But he must lose weight this year. He must take drastic measures to avoid sugar.

He glares at the vile pink box, containing the fatal treat.

He opens the box. He unzips his pants. He pees on the pineapple cake.

 

Writer: Rohan